Understanding Attachment Styles: A Key to Managing Stress and Preventing Burnout

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From the desk of Grace Lange, 

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, stress has become an almost inevitable thing. 

The demands of work, relationships, and daily responsibilities can pile up, leading to a sense of overwhelm and, in some cases, even burnout. But what if there was a way to better understand yourself and your reactions to stressors, ultimately helping you manage stress more effectively and prevent burnout? 

Enter attachment theory. 

The attachment theory is the psychological framework that can shed light on how you form relationships and deal with stress. In this blog, we will explore the importance of knowing your attachment style and how it can be a powerful tool for managing stress and preventing burnout.

My Personal Story: 

Several months ago I discovered what attachment styles are, and it has changed my life. 

woman wearing eyeglasses in grayscale photography
Photo by Elīna Arāja on Pexels.com

I was really struggling with anxiety due to a long distance relationship, constant work shifts, traveling several times a week, and every other life thing that seemed to pile up at the time. 

All of my relationships started to suffer. 

I was constantly seeking some sort of truth or answer to what was “wrong with me”.. 

I asked myself several times a day, “Why can’t I just be happy? My life is so good, but I am never happy. Why?” 

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? 

Thankfully within this dark time, I had coffee with a friend who is also named Grace, and she shared with me that she was experiencing several of the same feelings as I was. And that’s when she shared the attachment style theory with me, as it had helped her understand herself more. 

Now let me explain what the theory is: 

Attachment theory centers on the idea that the quality of early relationships between infants and their caregivers profoundly influences their emotional and psychological development. The founder, John Bowlby, identified four primary attachment styles that people tend to exhibit: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. These styles are based on the way individuals relate to others in close relationships and can persist throughout adulthood.

Here’s what this means: 

Secure Attachment Style: 

Those with a secure attachment style generally feel comfortable with intimacy and independence in relationships. They trust others, communicate openly, and are less likely to fear abandonment. This secure base translates into resilience when facing stressors. Securely attached individuals tend to have better emotional regulation skills and are more capable of seeking support from loved ones, making them less susceptible to burnout.

Anxious Preoccupied Attachment: 

Individuals with this attachment style often seek constant reassurance and validation from their partners. They can become highly anxious in the face of stress, fearing abandonment or rejection. Recognizing this attachment style can help individuals develop strategies to manage their anxiety more effectively, such as mindfulness and self-soothing techniques, reducing the risk of burnout.

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: 

Those with dismissive-avoidant attachment styles tend to be self-reliant and downplay the importance of emotional connections. In times of stress, they may withdraw or minimize their feelings. Understanding this attachment style can prompt them to consciously work on forming deeper connections with others, fostering a support system that can alleviate stress and prevent burnout.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: 

Fearful-avoidant individuals often have a combination of anxious and avoidant tendencies. They may struggle with trust issues, fearing both rejection and emotional dependence. Recognizing this attachment style can lead to a greater understanding of the need for balanced relationships and professional help in managing emotional turbulence during stressful periods.

I struggle with a mixture of an anxious attachment and fearful-avoidant attachment… 

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Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

But learning this about myself has brought so much light and understanding to my relationships, friendships, even my work. 

So how can you learn your style? 

  1. Reflect on past relationships
  2. Seek professional guidance
  3. Self-assessment tools
  4. Listen to podcasts or read books on this topic

Understanding your attachment style is a powerful tool for managing stress and preventing burnout. It enables you to recognize how you relate to others, especially in times of stress, and empowers you to develop strategies for healthier, more resilient relationships. 

By investing in self-awareness and working on your attachment style, you can build a solid foundation for a balanced, fulfilling life with reduced stress and a lower risk of burnout. 

Remember that personal growth is a lifelong journey, and self-awareness is the first step toward creating a brighter, more emotionally resilient future.

And if you want to work on understanding yourself even more, grab your ticket NOW for our 2024 Women’s Goal Setting Summit! We will help you discover your true desires and needs… helping you be set up for success into the next year. 



The Bible encourages believers to support and care for one another in times of difficulty. 

In Galatians 6:2, it says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” This concept aligns with the idea of forming supportive relationships to manage stress and prevent burnout.

While the Bible does not directly address attachment theory, its teachings can provide valuable guidance on building healthy relationships, practicing empathy and compassion, and nurturing emotional well-being.

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