From the desk of Grace Lange,
Are you a yes girl?
Are you a people pleaser?
Do you do things just to make other people feel good?
Join the club!
I love to say yes to things, because I trust myself to get the job done, and get the job done right.
A few weeks ago my boyfriend’s sister got married.
The excited couple asked me to do the readings at church during the ceremony, and I gladly said yes as I wanted to be a part of the day in some capacity and support them!
Well the day before the wedding rolled around and we had the ceremony rehearsal, grooms dinner, and last minute preparation…
Here is where things got crazy for me.
During the dress rehearsal the couple realized that they did not have someone to read another part of the mass readings, their original musicians were not able to come, and they did not have any eucharistic ministers to administer Holy Communion during mass.
So what did I do?
You betcha I volunteered myself for every single one of those jobs.
I literally sang the Alleluia at their wedding. Like who volunteers to do that?!
I guess I do!
After the wedding was over I was reflecting on my need to please people and say yes to things, and I pondered why I felt like I was the only one who could step up at the wedding?
Was I afraid of letting the couple down?
Did I feel like I was the only one that could do it?
Did I want people to like me more because I was the one who stepped up?
Why did I say yes?
Now the reason I am telling you this story is because many of us say yes to things we shouldn’t or maybe don’t want to for many reasons.
Either way, we need to figure out how to fix this problem and stop saying yes so much!!
Here is how we can do this!
We need to create our question funnel.
A question funnel is a list of questions you ask yourself before you say yes or no to something.
You start with the easiest questions and the funnel narrows down to the hardest questions…
And if the decision makes it through the funnel, then it should be a HELL YES!!!
Here are the questions in my question funnel:
- Does this decision align with my values?
- Does it allow me to have the flexibility in my schedule that I have worked hard to get?
- Does it align with my short term and long term goals?
- Will I make a positive impact on those around me by saying yes to this?
What questions are in your question funnel?
Now my decision to say yes to helping out in a big way at the wedding does align with each of my questions, so it was a HELL YES for me!
If you have a decision to make in your life right now, I challenge you to come up with your list of questions that you will ask yourself before you say yes or say no, and see if it helps!
What does God have to say about this?
But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. James 5:12
We are called to be clear in our answers and clear in our decisions! Let your yes mean HECK YES and your no mean HECK NO!