Who’s Telling You, You Should?

From the desk of Grace Lange,

My Story

I grew up in one of the most competitive, hard-working families I’ve ever met… though I might be biased, I still haven’t met anyone with quite the experience I had. 

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When you typically think of people being competitive with each other, you might often think of sports or maybe looks or smarts.. And while in my situation those were all there too, there was something a little deeper than that. Competition can either be a great thing to help people grow or it can slowly tear you down over time. 

My parents always pushed me to be #1. It was just an expectation that we would be the best at everything we did…. Though they never really said those exact words, I just assumed that this is what they expected of my sister and I. 

In HS we both joined every club there was, both were 3 sport athletes, both ran and won our town royalty pageant, got good grades, and had jobs while doing all of this. Now I don’t tell you any of this to brag about doing it all or being so great, I tell you this because someone, we aren’t sure who, put this unsaid pressure on us to be everything and do everything. 

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I thought that when I went to college things would get better and I would have a little less pressure on me…

And now that I don’t have my parents with me every step of the way, I still continue to have this immense pressure on myself to be the best or do everything… 

I recently wondered.. 

Who’s telling me that I should be doing everything or involved in everything or be the best at everything I take on? 

Who’s telling you that you SHOULD? 

Sometimes we feel like someone is putting pressure on us to be something that we truly are not or to push ourselves beyond our limits…

Who is that person, or is that person you? 

In my own experience… I realized that the person putting all that pressure on me was never my parents. It was me. 

I THOUGHT people expected me to be this specific person, but in reality, no one was thinking the things I thought they were. 

There are 3 different “shoulds” that I continually found myself thinking. 

  1. I should keep going and never rest. 
  2. I should give everything I do 110%. 
  3. I should sacrifice my needs for the needs of others. 

Do you find yourself falling into these negative mindsets? 

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Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

Our brains are so powerful, and they tend to allow us to think about things that are unrealistic or unreachable… leading us to feel negative when they don’t happen. 

It is so important that we learn how to combat these thoughts… 

Here’s what I have started to do: 

  1. Self-esteem journal – I fill this out everyday. 
  2. Doing one thing each day that brings me joy and only me.
  3. Making sure I schedule in time for myself to just reflect or think – Time blocking “me time”.

These things will still always be a struggle, but learning to call them out when you feel them and understand that it is okay to not be 100% all the time is the key to learning to give yourself grace. 


These struggles are easier to battle when you have a group of women to help you battle them!

What if we were to tell you there’s a way you can find more peace in your current career and family life?

…Or a way to alleviate the emotional, mental, and physical fatigue that constantly plagues most high-achieving women…

An outlet where you can verbalize the challenges you’re going through, so you can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel..

A place where you will have the backing of other like-minded women, who want to help you bring your ideas into action…

Without feeling like you’re being judged or a failure….Sound exciting?

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